Why I haven’t answered your call

Throughout my sex working career, I’ve always avoided writing up a list of rules regarding “how to interact with me” or “respectful behavior I expect,” as many other ladies do. I’m convinced it’s a pointless endeavor, because anyone who actually takes the time to read these lists will likely have followed these “rules” anyway.

No, my guess is that the typical time-waster comes across one of our pictures, it turns them on, they build up a hot fantasy around that picture, wires get crossed between the cock and brain, and somehow they assume that in real life we will actually do those things that fantasy woman just did. In the same way. For free. Then they pick up the phone without having read a single word on our website.

Because such a large percentage of my first-contact emails and phone calls are this scenario and they have no intention of actually booking a session, I often procrastinate the task of handling them at all. Unless it’s someone I already know and have seen before, I’m just not very motivated by my chances. I’m pretty sure I’ve let a handful of authentic clients slip through the cracks, and I’m working on ways to change this. Call it a New Year’s resolution.

So now that we’re a couple paragraphs in, I can safely say: if you’re still reading this, you’re not the problem. Thoughtful people like you are in fact the main reason I don’t like having a list of rules, because it makes some of you beautiful and gentle souls too scared to contact us at all.

But unfortunately for both of us, you can sometimes be difficult to identify in a sea of wankers looking for a free phone or distance session. (Not that I have anything against the wanking bit.) So here are some things I’m going to do, and a couple tips for you to make our process of finding each other quicker and less painful:

  1. I’m going to develop a way to automate the most frequently asked questions. You will need to show me either your email address or phone number. All anonymous callers will be rejected automatically, and I will only answer phone calls from people I have already had some contact with.
  2. I will require a deposit for our first session. I’ve been lax on this in the past because I understand it’s a risk for you as well, but it’s just not worth it for me over time. The one way to get around this is to book a session on a day I am already in the studio, which will likely be on a Sunday.
  3. Tell me which city you’re interested in having a session in and at least a general idea of when. If we’re not going to be in the same city at the same time, or your request is for months in the future, please know that my response to you may be delayed. Generally speaking, I prefer sessions between 12 noon and 6pm. Any later and I start turning into a pumpkin, and you will not have the best experience.
  4. Tell me what kind of session you want. “Domination” means different things to different people. Are you a heavy masochist? Do you like to be immobilized? Golden showers? Do you love the look and smell of leather or latex on a woman? Are you assuming sex is included? I promise you, I will not be offended by any request. If I don’t do it, I’ll just politely decline and offer other ladies that might be more suited to your interests.
  5. Please don’t be offended if I haven’t responded to you. I’ve been a very naughty girl when it comes to correspondence lately. Feel free to resend a message after 24 hours if you think it may have slipped through my process and you’d like a response right away. If you’ve read this far, you deserve to be pushed to the top of my inbox.

Here’s to a fresh start. Wishing you all a Happy New Year!


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