Why I haven’t answered your call

Throughout my sex working career, I’ve always avoided writing up a list of rules regarding “how to interact with me” or “respectful behavior I expect,” as many other ladies do. I’m convinced it’s a pointless endeavor, because anyone who actually takes the time to read these lists will likely have followed these “rules” anyway.

No, my guess is that the typical time-waster comes across one of our pictures, it turns them on, they build up a hot fantasy around that picture, wires get crossed between the cock and brain, and somehow they assume that in real life we will actually do those things that fantasy woman just did. In the same way. For free. Then they pick up the phone without having read a single word on our website.

Because such a large percentage of my first-contact emails and phone calls are this scenario and they have no intention of actually booking a session, I often procrastinate the task of handling them at all. Unless it’s someone I already know and have seen before, I’m just not very motivated by my chances. I’m pretty sure I’ve let a handful of authentic clients slip through the cracks, and I’m working on ways to change this. Call it a New Year’s resolution.

So now that we’re a couple paragraphs in, I can safely say: if you’re still reading this, you’re not the problem. Thoughtful people like you are in fact the main reason I don’t like having a list of rules, because it makes some of you beautiful and gentle souls too scared to contact us at all.

But unfortunately for both of us, you can sometimes be difficult to identify in a sea of wankers looking for a free phone or distance session. (Not that I have anything against the wanking bit.) So here are some things I’m going to do, and a couple tips for you to make our process of finding each other quicker and less painful:

  1. I’m going to develop a way to automate the most frequently asked questions. You will need to show me either your email address or phone number. All anonymous callers will be rejected automatically, and I will only answer phone calls from people I have already had some contact with.
  2. I will require a deposit for our first session. I’ve been lax on this in the past because I understand it’s a risk for you as well, but it’s just not worth it for me over time. The one way to get around this is to book a session on a day I am already in the studio, which will likely be on a Sunday.
  3. Tell me which city you’re interested in having a session in and at least a general idea of when. If we’re not going to be in the same city at the same time, or your request is for months in the future, please know that my response to you may be delayed. Generally speaking, I prefer sessions between 12 noon and 6pm. Any later and I start turning into a pumpkin, and you will not have the best experience.
  4. Tell me what kind of session you want. “Domination” means different things to different people. Are you a heavy masochist? Do you like to be immobilized? Golden showers? Do you love the look and smell of leather or latex on a woman? Are you assuming sex is included? I promise you, I will not be offended by any request. If I don’t do it, I’ll just politely decline and offer other ladies that might be more suited to your interests.
  5. Please don’t be offended if I haven’t responded to you. I’ve been a very naughty girl when it comes to correspondence lately. Feel free to resend a message after 24 hours if you think it may have slipped through my process and you’d like a response right away. If you’ve read this far, you deserve to be pushed to the top of my inbox.

Here’s to a fresh start. Wishing you all a Happy New Year!


When even your dominatrix is talking about Bitcoin…

Yes, I am a pro domme. But I wasn’t always. I used to work as a software engineer, and BDSM was only in my personal life. Somewhere along the way, those roles flipped. Now I work as a dominatrix, and programming is more of a hobby.

When I get burned out from constantly beating men, I stay at home and do geeky things. Things I don’t need fake eyelashes and six-inch heels for. Lately, I’ve had my eye on a potential project involving blockchain technology.

This week I went to a “State of the Blockchain” event with some of my geeky friends and my wife, who is a professional geek. I was hoping I could get a clearer understanding of what blockchain technology actually is – how it works, potential problems, workarounds and solutions, and what the hell is an ICO? Then I was hoping we would dive deeper into the techy stuff and really get our hands dirty addressing issues such as bandwidth and energy consumption, scalability, centralization vs decentralization, governance, the risks of losing your wallet, and hackers stealing your money.

Boy was I excited! Boy was I disappointed.

I was immediately suspicious at the free drink tokens we were given as we entered the free event. Free entry. Free drinks. Who’s paying for the party? More to the point, who’s investing in this and expecting to make money from it? But surely that was just my knee-jerk reaction from having grown up in the kingdom of capitalism. This is Europe after all.

The venue was beautiful and we got there early enough to get great seats right in the middle toward the front. Perfect. So exciting. And packed. Sold out, in fact. Well, the tickets were free, so whatever the word for that is.

The event kicked off with a story about a previous event like this when Bitcoin was worth 40 cents. How rich are those people who bought in back then and held onto their Bitcoins? Aren’t you jealous? Huh. This sounds an awful lot like a penny stock tip. The standard is to introduce a stock that went from a few cents to over $10, and tally up the numbers. What if you were to buy just tiny amount and hold until then – you’d be a millionaire!

Wait, no. It was just a funny introduction before the first guests came on stage and the good stuff was going to begin. I got my notebook and pen out, and leaned forward in my chair…

“Blah blah Ethereum buzzword blabble buzzword problems but smart people in the future blee blee buzzword Ethereum wada wada blockchain etc etc”

I haven’t heard so much buzzword bingo since the onset of Web 2.0. And was it just me, or were they using some of these words interchangeably? Are people really this confused? Are we not here to talk about those really big problems they just seemed to glaze over? Is this not called “The State of Blockchain”? Is this intentionally confusing hype, or do I know far less than I thought?

OK. I’ll ask a question. I can’t remember exactly, so I’ll paraphrase:

“Could you please explain the difference between a cryptocurrency, a token, an ICO, and the blockchain? You seem to be using these terms interchangeably. Tee hee hee giggle giggle I don’t really know much about this.”

Meaning, could we please state what is obvious to half the people here, and not so obvious to the other half, who are just here to figure out if they should buy or sell their Bitcoin at this insane price? Perhaps this would be a helpful way to get everybody on the same page.

Maybe that free drink was really strong. Maybe the adrenaline from speaking in front of all those people confused me. But I didn’t hear an answer. At all.

As an investor, this was a serious red flag. I kept hearing Peter Lynch‘s voice in my head saying that when the key factors of a company are so complicated that it’s impossible to give a simple explanation to what it even is, it’s not a good idea. Furthermore, everyone is talking about Bitcoin. It’s on all the American TV networks 24/7. Some very experienced fund managers are calling it a bubble. Even my artist friend in South Africa, who once spray painted her cellphone to make it pretty without protecting the buttons so she could actually use it, knows what Bitcoin is. In other words, even the cab drivers are talking about it. Needless to say, I went home and sold my small Bitcoin position for a profit.

But as a geek, I was really hoping for a deep dive discussion into the actual blockchain technology. Maybe it’s my fault for not really reading the program. I guess I just saw “blockchain” in the title and assumed it would be a discussion on, you know, blockchain. Instead, the conversation degenerated further, and I think I left around the time CryptoKitties were first mentioned.

On my way out, I got a couple business cards and more confusion from people trying to answer my question. I was disappointed to say the least, but I did receive an email back from a guy who had been sitting next to us, in which my question was answered precisely. His chair was empty before mine. Why wasn’t he on stage?

So should you sell your Bitcoin? Well… There’s a saying in the markets that when even your barista is talking about it, it’s time to sell. The charts are just looking way too much like a pump and dump out of control, and it’s so confusing that even hardcore geeks (way smarter than me) are having a tough time wrapping their heads around it.

Sadly, whatever hopes I had of getting rich quick from Bitcoin have died. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to continue doing strange things to men for a living.

September Kidnapping Event

My all-time favorite Avalon event is coming up fast! September 23rd-25th 2016


“One moment you are walking the streets of Berlin, no clue what fate you will meet so very soon. A car stops right next to you and a leather dressed lady overpowers you. You are kidnapped! She throws you on the back seat and you are torn out of your normal life. You realize: Dominant women have kidnapped you and you are turned into an object of their fantasy. This weekend will be spent according to their wishes — with sadistic lust and erotic moods. Isn’t that that what you always dreamed of?” – Residenz Avalon

md_IMG_0181German language not required – English is fine. But you will be bossed around in German – hot, right?! This is a long-term imprisonment with a handful of other slaves and enough Avalon mistresses to toy with them each individually. Once you are kidnapped and thrown in the back of a van, you will be interrogated, left in the Avalon Residenz prison cells overnight with the rest of the kidnappees, harshly woken up in the morning by German guardesses, showered with a hose and forced to do morning sports, and continued interrogations and sessions throughout the weekend. Surprises to come, too!

Each kidnappee fills out a questionnaire to let us know kink interests, taboo/limits, and any health concerns (medications, etc.) so you will be properly taken care of. However, this is not a hotel. You will be treated as a slave, a prisoner, a lying spy. Can you handle it?

Limited spaces still available – come join us during my favorite yearly event! Light to heavy masochists, foot fetishists, piss lovers, bondage sluts, and devoted slaves willing to explore their potential will not be disappointed!

40 Hours Long-term Enslavement:  €1560

Ask for a questionnaire from Lady Marlon and Lady Mercedes: avalon-residenz@gmx.net

Dirty Games


Golden Shower – watersports, champagne, golden nectar, urolagnia/urophilia/undinism… I have very strong control and can put as much as I want, where I want, when I want. When I’m done with you, the smell of every inch of your body will prove you are mine.


Hardsports/Scat – full toilet available daily, extra tribute required. Queening, rimming.

Whether you need to be bound and forced, or prefer it lighthearted, friendly and sensual, I have experience in a range of dirty games scenarios. Even pseudo-normal experiences (eg eating a prepared meal together at a table…) are possible.

Note: I do not allow video or pictures during these sessions.